Saturday, December 1, 2012

The Close Call Part 1

It seemed like torture. Looking down off the sides I could see little tiny buildings but as punishment I had to test it. The ride needed to be tested with a real living person. The dummies the people were using kept ripping up or snapped going down. The ride was called the Close Call or what I like to call it the ride from hell. I hopped on to the very modern bike with all it’s gadgets bare. I felt the safety harnesses wrap around my ankles and wrists automatically. People were cheering around me but all I could hear was the poor person crying for help. I could only feel a rock hard heart inside me thrashing around ready to be stopped.

The man in the operation booth asked “Ready?”
“Yes,” I replied but all I felt like saying was no. “ 3... 2... 1... Go!” the metal clip that was holding the bike all along, let go. Me and the the bike zoomed away. My heart was humming like a humming bird. I tried to close my eyes but the cool air kept them wide open. Then I heard something... a snap then the framing gave way.

To be Continued...


  1. Awesome start a awesome story!
    I like the end of this part it sounds really exciting this piece of writing. I read the next one.

  2. Great use of the prompt to get a story going, Stefan!

    I like how you vary your sentence starters and lengths. I also like the precise language you are choosing, such as the 'zoomed away' and 'my heart was a humming like a hummingbird'.

  3. Awesome work Stefan!
    I love this piece of writing it is outstanding, it is a great starting to your first story.

  4. Great starting Stefan,
    I wound call it ride from hell too, I can't wait to read part 2.
    Well done Stefan.